Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Well, that explains a few things.

I'm not sure how this happened, but for some reason there seems to be a misconception about me floating around that I don't like to do anything without my kids or husband. What the what?! Is this why people don't ask me to do stuff? Because, seriously, no one EVER asks me to do anything! No happy hours, no random hanging out, no shopping, no game nights - nothing! And ok, yes, in the past I have expressed a certain amount of disdain for "girls' nights," BUT I didn't really have the best girlfriends at the time. Actually, I guess you could say I didn't have any girlfriends at the time! So the idea of a "girls' night" was like, pshh, whatever, that sounds boring anyway. But I have female friends now, and they are great! (Well, a few. Some live far away and I never see them. And some are just friendly acquaintances on Facebook. Oh, who am I kidding, I'm hopeless!) But I never see them outside of playdates with the kids. [Sad face!] And my guy friends are great, no doubt, but it's a little weird to be like, "Hey, let's go hang out without our significant others. They'll be cool with that, right?" EDIT: For some reason, Blogger is highlighting the above text when I view it. I didn't intentionally highlight it, and I can't figure out how to unhighlight it. Weird.

I was talking to my mom recently, and she was saying how she hates to go to the movies by herself, so she just doesn't go. And I was like, "Um, hello, I'll go to the movies with you!" I was shocked/confused at how surprised she was that I said that - she said that she has always just assumed I wouldn't want to do anything without the hubby or the kids. And it made me wonder - does EVERYONE think I'm not interested in doing anything without them? Because that's not true! Of course, I LOVE to spend time with my kids and hubby. That's a no-brainer. If I didn't, that would be a serious problem. But I'm also an individual. And, hello, I work from home. Naturally, I'd be thrilled to go do something anything with friends on my own!

So now I'm wondering what kind of vibes I've been sending. Maybe I've been giving the impression all along that I'm not interested. It's possible: I'm introverted and shy, and sometimes I'm reluctant to break out of my routine (a classic introvert move), and I seem to always fail miserably when I try and take the initiative to get something set up. The hubby can get anyone to agree to anything, while I bumble around and can't seem to get an answer out of anyone. Which is PROBABLY why I rarely do things without him - he's the only one who seems to be able to get people to say yes!

So that kind of sucks. How do you go about reversing something like that?


Katy Field said...

All I can figure is say outright, "You know, just us!" or "Let's go do this. Wouldn't that be great? No kids, no husbands/boyfriends!" I find myself having to specify that to people because if I don't, they say no because they don't want a tantrum interrupting their shopping or our talking. Okay, my friends without kids. Basically, all I can offer is being direct about the plans you're making. See, my problem comes before that: actually making the friends! :P

quickwittedandwitty said...

Thanks for your comment! You're right, I need to be more direct. I end up adding an "if you want to" or "but we don't have to" or "or I don't know, something like that..." to everything I try to initiate. LOL! And I know what you mean, I could definitely stand to add a few new friends to the mix! But where do people our age go to make new friends nowadays? I have no idea!

Guy Hale said...

I will be honest and say I am with you on the hanging out without our significant others as being an awkward thought. But, I know Robin wouldn't care, and I think I know Randy well enough that he wouldn't care... So why do I worry?? I DON'T KNOW! lol

All that aside, with or without the other halves, I gotta quit letting the distance factor limit our friendship. It's way past old!